The meeting was scheduled for 2 PM on a Wednesday, and it was about the Q3 budget, and it was attended by seven people, and the meeting should have been an email, and everyone in the room knew it, which was the first thing that was not said, and which was the condition that made the meeting interesting, because the interesting thing about meetings that should have been emails is not the meeting itself but the collection of performances that the meeting requires, which are the performances of the people who are there and who are pretending that the meeting is worth their time, and who are doing this for reasons that are not about the budget, which is what the meeting is technically about, but are instead about the things that meetings are actually about, which are the relationships and the power dynamics and the specific negotiations that happen in rooms where people are seated in a specific order and where the speaking is not random but is instead choreographed by the person who called the meeting, which was Patricia, and which was why Patricia had called the meeting, not because she needed a meeting to discuss the Q3 budget but because she needed a room in which to perform a specific kind of authority, which was the authority of the person who controls the agenda, and which she was performing, that Wednesday at 2 PM, in the specific way that she always performed it, which was by starting the meeting not with the budget but with the observation that she was glad everyone could make it, and the gladness was not genuine and everyone knew it and no one said so, because the not saying was part of the performance, and because the meeting had to happen, and because the happening was the thing that mattered, not for the budget, which was fine, and which everyone knew was fine, but for the something else, which was the thing that the meeting was actually about, and which no one would name, because the naming would have ended the meeting, and because the ending would have been premature, and because the prematurity was not allowed, in the specific culture that Patricia had built, which was a culture in which meetings were not meetings but were instead rituals, and in which the rituals were not about the stated topics but were about the maintenance of the stated order, and which required, to function, that everyone pretend that the stated topics were the actual topics, and that the actual topics were not the stated topics, and that the not stating was the rule, and that the rule was what kept the culture intact, and that the intactness was what Patricia was maintaining, in the meeting at 2 PM, and which she would continue to maintain, because the maintaining was her job, and because her job was not what her job title said it was, and because the difference between the title and the job was the gap that she lived in, and that the living was what she did, and that the doing was what the meeting was for.

The meeting lasted forty-seven minutes, which was longer than it should have lasted, and which was the second thing that everyone knew and no one said, because the length was another part of the performance, and because the performance required that the meeting appear to be substantive, and because the substantiveness was demonstrated by the duration, and because the duration was what Patricia was managing, in the specific way that she managed everything, which was by making sure that the form was correct even when the content was not, and that the content, in this case, was the Q3 budget, which was presented by David, who was the CFO, and who presented it in the way that CFOs present budgets, which is as a series of numbers that are supposed to tell a story and that actually tell a different story, which is the story of what the numbers are hiding, and the hiding was what David was doing, in his presentation, and which Patricia understood, because she had seen the actual numbers, in the document that David had sent her before the meeting, and which she had reviewed, in the evening, at home, in the specific time that she spent, every night, reviewing the documents that were supposed to be reviewed during the day, and that the day was not long enough for, and that the not long enough was the condition of her working life, and which was the reason she was still at the company, after eleven years, because the condition was not one she could change by leaving, and because the condition was the condition of all the companies she had worked for, which were all, in this way, the same, and which all required the same thing, which was the evening review, and which the evening review was for, which was not the documents but was instead the management of the performance, and the performance was what she was giving, in the meeting at 2 PM, and what she was managing, in the forty-seven minutes, and what she would continue to manage, because the managing was what she did, and because the doing was the job, and because the job was what she had, and because the having was what she was holding onto, in the specific way that people hold onto things that are not what they wanted but which are what is available, and which the available is the only form of having that most people get, and which Patricia had accepted, in the eleven years she had been at the company, and which she would continue to accept, because the accepting was the condition of the working, and the working was the life, and the life was the meeting at 2 PM, and the meeting was what she called, not because the budget needed to be discussed but because the discussion needed to happen in a room, and in a room with the specific people who were in it, and in the specific order that they were seated in, and with the specific power dynamics that the seating produced, and which she controlled, by controlling the agenda, and by starting with the gladness, and by the gladness being the signal that the performance had begun, and that the performance was what the meeting was for, and that the for is what she was managing, and that the managing was what she did, and that the doing was the job, and the job was the meeting, and the meeting was what everyone was there for, and the there for was what they all knew, and what no one said, and what the not saying was the performance, and the performance was what made the meeting possible, and the possible was what they needed, and the needed was what they had, and the having was the meeting, and the meeting was what she called, and what they came to, and what they left, forty-seven minutes later, with the budget not approved and the approval not the point, and the point being the ritual, and the ritual being the thing they performed, and what the performance produced, which was not a decision but was a demonstration, and the demonstration was what the company ran on, and what the running was what we called work, and what the work was the meeting at 2 PM, and the meeting was what she called, and what everyone came to, and what everyone left, having performed, having demonstrated, having done the thing that the company required, which was not the stated thing but was the unstated thing, and what the unstated thing was, and what the meeting was for, and what the for was the something else, and the something else was the company, and the company was what they all worked for, and what the working was the performance, and the performance was the meeting, and the meeting was what she called, and what the calling was her job, and what the job was the meeting, and the meeting was the ritual, and the ritual was the work, and the work was the company, and the company was what they all served, and what the serving was what they did, and what the doing was the performance, and the performance was the meeting, and the meeting was what she called, and what the calling was the management, and the management was the control, and the control was the power, and the power was what she had, and what the having was the meeting, and the meeting was the ritual, and the ritual was the form, and the form was what they filled, and the filling was the performance, and the performance was the work, and the work was the meeting, and the meeting was what she called, and the calling was why she was in charge, and the charge was what she had, and the having was the meeting, and the meeting was the ritual, and the ritual was the form, and the form was the content, and the content was the budget, and the budget was what David presented, and the presenting was what David did, and what the doing was the performance, and the performance was the meeting, and the meeting was forty-seven minutes, and the forty-seven minutes was what they had, and what the having was the time, and the time was what they spent, and the spending was what they did, and the doing was the work, and the work was the meeting, and the meeting was over, and the over was what everyone knew, and what no one said, and what the not saying was the performance, and the performance was what made it possible to leave, and the leaving was the end, and the end was what everyone was waiting for, and the waiting was the meeting, and the meeting was what she called, and the calling was the beginning, and the beginning was the gladness, and the gladness was the signal, and the signal was: the performance has started. And the starting was the beginning. And the beginning was the meeting. And the meeting was what they came to. And the coming was the